Just For Me

This week I did something just for me. I know this seems so simple, but in my case, its not. Everything I earned and saved went towards my education or making myself a better job candidate or employee. This meant staying home, while my friends went out because that $100 would be better spent on my GO pass to school or that new dress shirt for work. This has always been my mentality.

Then last month, a friend of mine spent a lot of money on herself and I thought, how can you do that when you’re in so much debt? Wouldn’t that money have been better spent going towards your loan? And she just replied ‘No. That would mean that I would never be able to buy anything for myself. I don’t want to live like that!’ And it made me realize, heck, I don’t want to live like that either! But I was…

I’ve always been responsible, focused on my needs and not my wants. Sometimes it was sad, and lonely because I wanted to have fun, but I also wanted to walk out of school with as little debt as possible (which, when paying for your education up to the Masters level on your own, is really hard to do!). But now, I’ve decided to just take a breath and relax… I can admit, I can be wound pretty tight, but I’m trying to enjoy life now, and not just survive it, so this week I did something just for me. It has no other purpose than to make me smile and feel good about me. It won’t affect my grades, make my resume look good, make my employer see me as a more valuable player, it won’t do anything, but make me feel good about me, which I need, clearly, if I have to post about it… so…

I joined a belly dancing class =) I’m really excited! It’s something out of the box for me and different and brave…? I’m happy that I’m doing something that really has no other purpose other than to just have fun.

One of my great friends is from Sweden and when I told her about my belly dancing class she told me “You need more things like this to treat yourself! We have a saying: be your happiness own blacksmith. You gotta make yourself happy you know.”

I’m working on it =)


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